Tonio's protection, I learned later, came from a completely unexpected source.  I looked for him around the neighbourhood after that very strange dinner we had shared; visited the neighbourhood bar at my usual time in the evenings but Tonio had effectively disappeared.  There was no point becoming hysterical with worry, I told myself.  Much better to believe that he too had felt that current of danger pulsing throughout that evening.  Much better to believe that Tonio had gone to ground.

As I searched for Tonio, I couldn't help but notice the change creeping over the neighbourhood, the quiet that stalked the streets now.  So unlike the city I once knew yet more and more, becoming the norm everywhere I went.  We were silent, those of us who were left, as if to raise our voices could draw attention to the fact that we still remained.

Why did I stay?  What force kept me here?  I tried to contemplate leaving, tried to envision myself somewhere more remote, somewhere I would not be a witness to what was to come.  A clear picture, however, a clear plan of action, refused to form.  Then one day, I did not go to the office.  How could I not realise that I had taken yet another step down the dark and strange road that led to Auriel?
<><><><><>

The horses seemed to fade from under us and I found myself on firm ground again.  We seemed to have ridden for only seconds and I had no idea of direction nor distance.  Perhaps there was no such thing as time or space for those great, magical beasts.

I was in the middle of a sprawling, empty camp.  In the distance, I could hear a roaring that only the ocean, wild and furious, could make.  The terrain around us was unfamiliar to me.  There was something not entirely solid about our surroundings, as if the cliffs and heather strewn fields could shift their shapes to suit a mood.  A timelessness was here, a throbbing to the land as if an ancient pulse marked the passing of millennia; a place of power.  Organising their sorties from here, calling upon whatever forces ruled here, the Dark Rider and his people would be invincible.

My mind touch would not work here, as if the flame of my new and meagre gift were inundated by the might of this place.  I felt blind and dumb.  I could not touch the Dark Rider, not physically, mentally nor emotionally.  He and his partner strode off, paying me little mind, towards the centre of this camp, somehow finding their way amongst the many tents and pavilions.  A large black pavilion was suddenly before us and they entered without hesitation.  I followed.

Inside, naked, sprawled amongst the large, bright cushions was Kipp.  She did not seem surprised to see me, only blinked at me once, before turning back to my companions.  They did not acknowledge her, but began to peel off their clothes to stand naked toe to toe.  It was Adamnae who moved first, taking Auriel roughly into his arms before they tumbled together, in a frenzy of arms and legs, onto the nearest cushions.

My blood ran cold, my heart stopped beating.  My voice was stopped in my throat.  Kipp came to me then, undressed me as Auriel and Adamnae vented their lust and passion, the residue of battle for the world.  She led me to her pillows, enfolded me in her strong, generous arms, nuzzled my neck and teased my throat.

 *But you knew about them, didn't you?*

Of course, I wanted to reply but could not form the words.
<><><><><>

I awoke with a start.  My first thought was to question what day it was and what plans I had made for it.  I moved to leave my bed and his hand on my arm stopped me.  In silence, feeling taciturn, I allowed him to pull me back into bed.  He ignored my mood - I made no attempt to hide my feelings from him - and pressed his naked body into mine.

"You never told me about Adamnae," I accused.

*Did I have to?*  I felt him sigh.

No.  He did not have to but it would have been better if he had.  I made to move away.  He held me closer and began to stroke my leg nearest him.  His breathing quickened:  he began to lick my neck.  I began to bubble slowly, a rage building in my gut as I recognised what Auriel was attempting to do.  He laughed.

"He completes me," he said.  "He is my darkness:  I am his light.  It is a marriage of convenience, Ish.  To do what needs to be done, we need each other."

And just what was it that needed doing?  Were they going to eradicate all men and women from the face of the planet?

*Of course not.  But you have to realise it is a case of the survival of the fittest.  Most men fear us.  They would destroy us all if they could.  We only act to protect ourselves.*

Those that would be left would live among Auriel's people.  Would our lives be so different?

*Very.*

Auriel picked up where he had left off, stroking me slowly, having all the time in the world.  He was female for me then, his gentle hands and attentive mouth driving away my anger and jealousy; the feel of his soft hair, trailing across my skin.  I surrendered to his power, to the sound of my name murmured between caresses and without thought or hesitation, opened myself to his pleasure, his passion and his need.  We found ourselves once again in the mighty land of the Dark Rider, lying in a field of heather.  There was no Adamnae, no Kipp and the crash of the ocean was the sound our hearts made as we came together, performed that magic that gave Auriel his strength.   I surged too, with Auriel's tongue at the centre of my being, ever closer to the little death that would release the power of my soul.  When the blackness took me, my satisfaction was his own:  I felt the brush of his mouth against my thighs as I fell, unafraid, into the void.

A sudden brightness caused me to blink and I realised that sunlight had forced its way through swirling clouds of smoke and metal grey.  It was a last brave attempt at warmth and tranquillity, the pale rays stark against the gloomy landscape.  Calm before the storm, I thought and watched as the clouds moved to shut out the weakening light.  Just as I expected to be enveloped by gloom in this now familiar land, one last ray refused to be banished, slicing across the thick grey clouds, turning their threat into a savage and alluring beauty.  I closed my eyes

and opened them to find myself in the midst of  a crowd that tingled with anticipation.  I sent my senses out and was unsurprised when I could feel nothing.  Completely relaxed, completely unconcerned, I turned to those nearest me and tried to get some sense of what this was all about.  All around me were women in various dress.  Some were dressed as labourers.  Others were dressed office, high power smart.  Still others fell between these two but all who I could see were female.  It was as if they had simply gathered here from their places of work.  I realised then that we stood in a plaza:  a great city shimmered around us as if unwilling to solidify and be identified.  I could feel its great size, its youth and, like everything else in this dreamscape, its great power.

 This place was built by the Others, a voice said.

*Who are the Others?*

Watch.

I had seen them in other dreams, melting out of fire and shadow to stand deadly before me, to leave me untouched amongst the fallen.  Now, they moved amongst my companions and most of them hardly seemed the creatures of war and death.  Some were softly beautiful, their hair unbound and tossed by the slight breeze, gentle and warm, that whispered throughout the plaza.  I looked at others who still caused my heart to skip a beat; still beautiful but hard and fierce, as if they had ridden here straight from battle.  The women around me were unafraid and opened their arms to the Others.  I felt a shifting:  my surroundings wavered.

Our children will be beautiful and gifted.

*Where are the men?*

Not here.  Gone.  Few remain.

*Why?*

Men -- and some women -- who could not understand.  They didn't want to see.  They were killed by their fear.

*Perhaps they could have learned!*

No.  If they wanted to, they would have.

I started to float skyward, leaving the plaza behind.  I fought desperately to remain for I had not finished questioning my strange companions.  There was too much I did not know!  How did they come to be there?  Indeed, where was this place?  My ascent  continued, grew swifter until the mountains, that cradled the Dark Rider's camp and the young, fey city of the Others, were swallowed by the blackness of distance.  As if propelled to break the surface of some great body of water, up I sped. 

The bursting of a soap bubble blown by a playful child in a sunlit garden;  the click of a light switch that throws a room into sudden and complete darkness:  I opened my eyes and found myself in my empty bed, staring at the ceiling.  Fighting an incredible feeling of loss, I called to Auriel.

He was in the livingroom and he was not alone.  Auriel's brown cigarettes lay in the centre of the circle they formed as they lounged amongst the cushions, long and lovely limbs effortlessly, carelessly composed.  All wore their hair unbound:  Adamnae wore modest makeup.  Two were strangers to me, though I suddenly recognised the Other sitting next to Auriel was my protector and chauffeur from that disastrous evening at their club.  They regarded me as one might some sort of beetle making its way across a broad expanse of floor.  I did not have to touch their thoughts to know.  This was a council of war.

"Hello, Adamnae," I greeted him and swept my eyes over the other two.

Adamnae nodded slightly, giving me a look that reminded me of his arrogant behaviour that night I first met him.  Whatever did Kipp see in him?

*A side you will never see.*

He smiled when my eyes widened slightly.

 *Don't, Adamnae,* Auriel admonished.

Adamnae gave a little shrug.

The others stirred, drawing my attention momentarily away from the moody Adamnae.  Who were they?

*Remir is Adamnae's aide.  Greythorn, who I think you know,* Auriel's amusement did not escape me, *is my aide.*

I nodded to the two then turned to Auriel.  I needed to talk to him, needed to feel his arms around me as I described my dreams and tried to decide what these strange journeys meant.

*Later.  We are nearly done.  Make us coffee, please, Ish.*

I had been dismissed.  Yet I heard the conciliatory tone, the promise of more to come;  the wish to be obeyed.  I glanced at Adamnae.  His eyes were downcast, his head inclined towards Remir.  I tried to touch their thoughts but could receive nothing.  They did not even flinch and I was reminded of a child's attempt to contribute to the intense conversations of adults.  Auriel was smiling at me with genuine affection.  I returned the smile and retreated to the kitchen to take my time making the coffee.

I could have been alone.  The silence was eerie and pregnant and there was a feeling of awful things, the siege of cities and the fall of powerful men,     being orchestrated.  Revolutions and conspiracies must have started and been carried out, successfully or not, in just this fashion.  There was a difference here, however.  I knew no secret police, domestic or otherwise, would burst through my door.  It was highly unlikely that Auriel, Adamnae or any of their kind would be found dead in murky circumstances.  A revolution or a conspiracy that had no worthy adversaries because the world's powerful men and the powerful countries tied to them, would not see.  The sorcery of the Others would bury them.

My kitchen was small.  The electric kettle fizzed companionably beside me.  I perched on the countertop and sank deeper into the heavy silence.  I did not want to think about men nor everything so many of them stood to lose.  The mystical city of the Others was where my thoughts should have been, perhaps trying to figure out if such a place really existed.  I feared I already knew the answer to that question.

Movement at my elbow caused me to jump.  I looked up into the guarded eyes of Adamnae.

 "Sister," he addressed me and I felt my heart skip a beat as doubt ran through me.

"Auriel sent you to make peace?"

He had the grace to look sheepish for a moment.  Then he ran his long hand through his hair and gave me a knowing look.

"Of course.  But he is right.  I should not have been such a bastard."

"You're always a bastard, Adamnae,"  I laughed.  "But I suppose I'll eventually have to learn to live with it."

He moved towards the refrigerator and remarked, "There's no reason for you to be jealous, you know."

My heart jumped again.  A part of me did not want to have this conversation with Adamnae.  For now, it was easier for me to pretend there was nothing between Auriel and him.  I could not trust myself to reply.

"Auriel was right that our relationship is one of convenience," he continued.  "He needs you, Ishmaela."

His use of my name made me squirm.  Adamnae ignored my discomfort.  He held a carton of milk and silently questioned the whereabouts of the sugar.

*Remir likes his coffee milky and sweet.*

"Why do you say Auriel needs me?  How could he need me so much?"

Adamnae made an impatient sound and the milk hit the counter with a thud.

 *Stupid girl!  What happened today?*

I blinked at him.  I dreamed.  We made love.  I had a vision....  I needed him to hold me, to help me find the meaning.

*He taps into the hurt you hold here,* Adamnae pressed a perfectly manicured nail against the space between my breasts.  *It reminds him that we are right.  It makes his anger burn.  It keeps him strong and by my side.*

Something cold crawled through me as I pondered this.  I wanted to push the thoughts away.  It was so much easier to separate the Other that was Auriel from the Other that was the Dark Rider.  To understand now where Auriel's determination came from left me numb.

Adamnae saw the effect of his words and I felt his moment of hesitation.  Then, *Kipp is the same for me.  Auriel is my brother, like a twin to me.  But Kipp....  She tempers me.  I swear, there would not be a man left in this world if it weren't for Kipp!*

His eyes flashed and he tossed his head, causing his hair to fly madly about.  Insane and Kipp completely under his spell, I thought, shivering as if in response to immediate danger.

"No.  Not insane.  Not now.  Not since Kipp," he sighed.  "When you go, you mustn't take Kipp with you.  Now where's the damn sugar!"

"Adamnae, I'm not going anywhere!"

"Ah.  But you will."

He had finally found the sugar.  As he stepped out of my tiny kitchen, he tossed over his shoulder, "Come on with that coffee, Ish!"

I followed, bombarding him with questions.  Hastily placing the tray of coffee and coffee cups down, I turned to Adamnae.  How do you know all of this?  I demanded.

*Because Kipp dreamed it and I know she dreams true.  You've seen our city but I don't think you're ready to join us there.*

Everyone had stopped what they were doing and now watched Adamnae and me.  Auriel was openly interested.  Surely Adamnae was wrong.  How could I leave Auriel?

*Who said anything about leaving him?* Adamnae chuckled.

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable with an audience, I did not reply.  I watched Auriel help himself to coffee and reached deep inside, seeking to dispel the shock of Adamnae's strange prediction.  I couldn't leave Auriel.  A panic swelled in me just at the thought.

 "Enough for today," Auriel spoke and gestured for me to sit beside him.

No one spoke as we drank hot coffee and the Others smoked their thin brown cigarettes.  I only half tasted my drink for I was too wrapped up in Auriel, the comfort of having him near.  Kipp's dream seemed ludicrous with the feel of Auriel's hard body against me.  He began to lazily stroke my arm and I could feel him stirring.  Leave this?  In a few seconds more, he'd have me nearly beside myself to get him into bed.  He pulled me against his chest, settled us comfortably and blew smoke rings towards the ceiling.

*Adamnae is quite certain that Kipp is correct,* he remarked as if he spoke about the weather.  *But I have no fear.  You will always be with me and I with you.  In the end, you'll join us in the City.*

I could feel the sadness he struggled to keep at bay.  I wished the others would leave.  Their business here was completed and I needed to be alone with Auriel.   Support finally came from unlikely quarters as Remir and Adamnae finally took their leave.  Greythorn was slower to depart and I felt his concern for Auriel.  As Auriel finished his cigarette, Greythorn reached for another, lit it and took a drag or two before handing it to his lord.  I watched the interaction silently, not missing the nuances and wondered if Auriel could be so dense.  Of course not, I knew.  Greythorn got to his feet then and took his leave.  I was finally alone with Auriel.

Adamnae says I am leaving. When I think of leaving, no clear plan ever forms.  All I have are vague feelings to head north, to be in New England near the sea.  But what would I do there?

 *Live.  Enjoy the sea.  Be happy.*

I am happy with you.

*But you cannot surrender, not completely.  It is too terrifying for you.*

I drew closer to him.  To lose myself again was a terrifying thought; to surrender everything to him and admit that he was all there was; to admit that his fight against everything I *should* defend meant nothing to me when he took me in his arms.  Mysterious and dark angel.  Will you wait?

*Forever.*

He wore soft black leather trousers and no shirt.  Kohl ringed his eyes and his hair fell freely over his chest.  He seemed more relaxed now, his sadness dissipating with the wreaths of white smoke that lazily made their way to the ceiling.  I felt something moving inside him.  A barrier was coming down.  He released me and stretched out on the cushions, clasped his hands over his midsection and closed his eyes.

"Do you hear from your children, Ish?"

The question shocked me.  My grown children called me now and then, when they could, when they thought about it which was not often.  I'd raised them to be independent and did not expect them to need me at all now.

"It isn't a question of needing though, is it?" he murmured.

I shook my head.  "I know that they are still alive.  I feel their confusion sometimes but mostly I feel their strength."

"Proud mother whose job is done," he mused.  "You know they will be alright.  Can they feel you when your thoughts are near them?"

I had never stopped to consider whether or not they could.  I shrugged.  Was my inability to leave this place my reluctance to leave my offspring?  The idea was appealing by some idealistic measurement of motherhood but I laughed softly at the idea that at this stage of their lives, I could offer any protection or advice. 

*Visit them in their dreams.*

I stared at him.  He looked perfectly composed  as if he innocently slept.  Then he said, "My father left soon after I entered adolescence.  Soon after his departure, my mother began to fear me.  I had always been a different child - as you can imagine."

He smiled at the recollection and it was not a smile from memories fondly remembered.

"Imagine what it would be like to be dealing with the physical and emotional changes of becoming an adult, a hormonal rollercoaster, then imagine discovering this unbelievable power over men and women that you have...."

His eyes opened suddenly, fixed me and it was like being grabbed by the throat.  I locked gazes with something savage and amoral.

 "Those I loved, I loved well.  Adamnae.  Greythorn.  Remir.  Those who wronged me or sought to hurt me, those I hated....  Well.  I was young and not inclined to forgive easily."

I felt that if I moved, Auriel would stop talking.  Any comment I could make, any question I could ask was trapped inside me.

"I made no attempt to hide my nature, much to my mother's distress.  She was faced with a child she could not know.  A son she could not control; a daughter she could not comfort.  I can try to understand what the experience did to her now.  She lost her friends and her family. 

"But I was growing up in a place even darker than the usual teenage hell," he gave a humourless laugh.  "And I discovered that the darkness suited me most of the time."

Did he kill his mother?  I could barely form the thought.  I cannot describe the relief that flooded me when he shook his head slightly.

"I knew that I could.  I knew that if I stayed, I would.  She wanted me to hide, to conform.  She thought I could slip into the cosy nine-to-five life if I would only try.  I hated her.

"One day, I looked at her and it was as if I looked at some tiny insect.  Something inside was amazed that I could even think it, but I knew I could just extend my thoughts and squash her like a bug.  I think she felt it too because I could suddenly smell her fear.  But she looked me right in the eyes as if she wanted to clearly see the next thing that would happen between us.  She might have been afraid but she was brave." 

Am I a mother to you, Auriel?

This time he was amused.  *Perhaps,* came my reply.  *But I never needed my mother the way I need you, Ish.*

I chuckled.  So, how then, did he meet Adamnae and the others?

"We can recognise one another instantly.  It's a feeling in the gut, a certain psychic buzz.  What a shock it was to realise there were others like me!  Mutants, we suppose and happening more and more, is my guess.

"Living rough on the streets.  Whoring and stealing to stay alive - until we realised turning tricks was a damn hard way to make a living and decided to pool resources, so to speak.  Much easier to stick to stealing and occasionally vent the rage...."

He closed his eyes again and some strange emotion passed through him, a weariness as if great age pressed down upon him.  I thought once again how little I knew about him and speculated that just because he appeared almost young enough to be my son, I mustn't be deceived by this.

"Remir and Greythorn were just boys when Adamnae and I found them.  Tough little shits.  Adamnae wanted to play with them and then dispatch them to whatever god they believed in but there was something enchanting about their hardness.  The way they showed no fear though death was a certainty.  They had nothing but each other and were prepared to go down fighting back to back.  I took Greythorn and Adamnae took Remir.

"You have been changed by me, Ish."

"Tell me something I don't already know, Rie."

He laughed.  "Well, when I take a boy, he becomes like me.  It doesn't happen with women quite the same way.  You and Kipp are different as a result of lying with us - but you will never become one of us."

"So you took Greythorn.  I suppose he wasn't too thrilled by this."

 Auriel sighed.  I knew the answer without him giving it.

"He soon realised he was different," Auriel continued.  "He soon realised his advantage over most of the population at the time.  Sometimes it is a very small step from hate to love."

He's been at your side ever since.

Auriel nodded.  *We continue to make our kind and to call to those who reach adolescence and suddenly discover what they are.*

I could only brush the surface of what he had gone through.  He should have been dead by now from any number of things but here he lay on my floor, splendidly sprawling, the perfection of his body making it difficult for me to breathe.  I turned away.  Dirty coffee cups called for my attention.
<><><><><>

Like what you've read? Have suggestions or constructive criticism? Email me! tlyr (at) tlyr.co.uk