Disclaimer:  I do not own them:  Paramount does, as well as all things Trek. I'm just borrowing Tom, Chakotay et al for awhile.

Tom Paris bolted upright in bed with a muttered , 'Shit!'

He became vaguely aware of his heart racing at warp speed. Sleep would elude him now and after calling for the time, he groaned in frustration. He was due on the bridge in a little less than two hours.

It was the dream again.

'Forget it, Paris,' he sternly told himself. 'It isn't going to happen. You've seen the way he looks at *her.*'

With rising panic, Tom closed down that train of thought.  Firmly. *She* was his captain and jealousy towards one commanding officer because of another commanding officer was definitely not the way to inspire confidence and trust.

'Get a grip. Get your shower. Get your coffee. Breath in, breath out.....'

Almost without realizing how he managed it, Tom found himself in the messhall. He was grateful for the early hour; the quiet, the view of the passing stars allowing him time to collect his thoughts and reign in his rampaging emotions.

He shook his head with a rueful grin that threatened to spill over into a fit of giggles.  He did not want to think too much about the dream right now, not even its more pleasant aspects.  He didn't want to analyse potential meanings and he certainly did not want to ponder its source. Those deep brown eyes; he always knew when the Commander was watching him.  That broad, solid chest; Tom's idea of heaven was to be able to stroke that chest, brushing fingertips across dark nipples, forever.  Those big, big hands...

Abruptly, Tom came back to himself and commanded his body to relax.  This was not the time or place for these thoughts. He glanced down at his breakfast.  It appeared to be barely edible.  More coffee was what he needed.  That, he wryly thought, would have to wait until he was in a fit state to stand.

Harry Kim entered and inspected the morning's offerings. Tom watched with some amusement as the expression on Harry's face slid into one of dubious acceptance.

'You're up early, Harry,' Tom said as Harry took a seat.

He noticed that his friend still eyed his breakfast with some mistrust.

'Relax.  It's not as bad as it looks,' Tom smiled.

'Hmm.  Could've fooled me.'

'What are you doing up so early anyway?  Or don't I want to know?' Tom waggled his eyebrows knowingly at Harry.

Harry sighed, 'Forget it Tom.  It's nothing that exciting. I promised to give B'Elanna a hand in Engineering this morning before I'm due on the Bridge.'

'Ah yes....'

'What about you?' Harry quickly continued before his friend could start the teasing Harry was certain was imminent.  'Awfully early for you....'

Harry was stunned to see the colour rise to Tom's cheeks.  Finding it impossible to utter a word, he waited for Tom to continue.

 'It's a dream I keep having,' Tom finally said.

Something in his voice made Harry wonder if Tom would tell him about the dream.  He was not surprised when Tom's breakfast suddenly became the most important thing in the room to him.  Harry told himself not to pry but kept glancing at his friend as if to detect some sign that Tom would not mind a probing question or two.

Finally, Harry could not stand it.

'Are you going to tell me what this dream is all about?'

'No. Not yet.'

Not an unexpected answer.  Well, there was nothing for it: detective work was called for here.

'How about I guess?'

'You've been hanging around B'Elanna too long,' Tom griped.  'The old Harry would *never* have tried to guess.....'

'Yeah, well I figure to have you up at this time of the morning, this dream must be a good one....' To say nothing of that blush a minute ago, Harry thought.

'Well Harry, you can guess but it doesn't mean I have to confirm *anything*!'

Harry chuckled, 'If I do this right, you won't *have* to confirm anything.'

Suddenly he realized that he had lost Tom's attention completely.  Tom was staring past him, eyes riveted on the person who had just entered the room. He turned and received his second shock of the morning. There stood Commander Chakotay.  Harry whipped around to pin Tom with a look and saw the blush return with a vengeance to Tom's fair features.  He could hardly believe it.

'Well hell.  That didn't take much figuring out....'

'What exactly do you mean by that?'

Harry laughed at Tom's attempt to deflect him, face perfectly unreadable now.

'Don't play coy with me, Tom.  So what happens to Chakotay in your dream?'

It was Harry's turn to waggle his eyebrows dramatically at Tom whose gaze returned quickly to his breakfast.

'We are not having this conversation, Harry,' Tom growled, telling himself fiercely not to blush.  'No. Way.'

As Chakotay carefully selected breakfast from the morning's offerings, the little comedy involving Tom and Harry was not lost upon him. He'd caught the look on Tom's face, Harry's astonishment and the intense whispers that followed.  He smiled smugly to himself and debated whether or not to join the junior officers. In the end, he took a seat in a quiet corner, arranging breakfast and his padd containing ship's business before him.

'Well, you've been spared,' Harry smiled.  'Chakotay decided his work was more interesting than us.  Gods, Paris! When did all this happen?'

>The moment I laid eyes on him,< Tom thought.  >He was leaner in those days but still bloody big; square jaw; that gaze that told you nothing but seemed to pierce you.  Shit. For just a fraction of a second, I thought I saw something in his eye too.....  a tiny spark. Too quick, gone almost before I blinked in surprise. Shit.  What do I have to do to get through to him?<

It was a surprise to see Harry awaiting a response, so lost in thought was Tom.  He sighed.  A 'what the hell' expression came over his face and he confessed.

'The second we met.'

Harry never thought Tom would tell him.  All levity left him in a rush and he almost felt as if he should apologize. As it was, he watched Tom finish off breakfast not certain what to say but feeling suddenly that alot of little things were beginning to make sense.

'I always thought,' Harry began carefully, 'that you were most upset about leaving the Captain on New Earth. I mean I just assumed....'

'Yeah. Well, I *was* upset....'

He wouldn't let himself complete the sentence or the thought.  To think of the two of them alone together on that planet for all that time and if any two crewmembers had to contract that mysterious virus ....

'What are you going to do about it, Tom?'

What *can* I do! Last I looked, the man barely tolerated me.  I realize he doesn't exactly hate me anymore but we aren't exactly pals either. And there's the captain.'

>Shit. I am saying way too much.<

But the flood gates were open. Months and months of frustration, it seemed, was just waiting to spill out. With a sinking feeling, Tom realized that it would be impossible to stem the tide. He gave Harry an appraising look. Here before him sat his best friend, the very best friend he'd ever had. He'd trust him with his life: what was one little secret?

'They flirt,' Harry offered slowly, 'but I think it's just that.'

'I can see the way he looks at her.'

'And I see the way she looks at him and it isn't that look.'

Tom snorted.

'Don't give me that, Paris!  Everyone thinks I'm so innocent -- oh what would Harry Kim know about *that look*! Well, I know enough and she doesn't give him *that look.*'

 'Alright. If you say so Harry.'

'So I ask again. What are you going to do about it?'

'Absolutely, positively nothing. I'll get over it.  The dream will go away and life will go on in the Delta Quadrant....'

'Well if you want my two slips...'

'Which I'm gonna get anyway regardless of wanting them or not....'

'....if you don't ask, you don't get.  Think about it, Tom.  I've got to get to Engineering.'

From his corner, Chakotay discretely watched Ensign Kim leave the messhall.  His gaze slid over to Tom, done now with his breakfast, sipping coffee, lazily watching the stars move by. The man was beautiful, an angel fallen to earth. That face that normally allowed the world to see only what Tom Paris wanted to be seen, that face was completely open, completely unguarded. Chakotay, his heart slamming against his ribcage, wanted the moment to never end.

>When the hell did this happen, my antipathy towards him sliding into something else?  Who am I kidding! One minute I can barely stand to be in the same room with the guy, the next I just want to rip that uniform off and take him.... <

It had been a steady process, Chakotay thought.  Tom proving himself again and again to be alot more than the arrogant smart-mouth he presented to the world: the Starfleet brat who was brave, trustworthy, loyal.....  and beautiful. 

>I misjudged him.  Why was I so determined to see only the worst in him?<

Because he was not ready to face the alternative.  He needed no thunderbolt, no flash of sudden illumination.  There was no away mission or particular stunt Tom had pulled with his usual bravado.  Somehow, he'd always known the truth, that he had wanted Tom Paris the moment he first saw him, that flyboy cockiness hiding a pretty severe case of nerves.

But he was the son of a Starfleet admiral. He was someone born, so Chakotay thought then, with every advantage. Suspicion had seized him.  Why was a guy like Paris seeking to join the Maquis?

>Where else could he go?<  Chakotay asked himself now. >Run out of Starfleet, all 'respectable' channels closed to him...  the man *had* to fly. And he had not complained when I gave him that bucket of bolts! Only looked at me, betraying not the slightest emotion, a quiet determination about him.... <

Tom chose that moment to look up, meeting his commanding officer's frank gaze.

Chakotay carefully composed his features and returned to the work before him.  Tom Paris took note.  Those deep brown eyes had looked at him pensively. He found himself wondering just what Chakotay had been thinking. Lately, the looks he'd noticed from the Commander were all a bit like this one, strangely devoid of emotion but one could almost see the thought processes whirling....

Sighing, he stood. The pilot currently on duty would probably be pleased to be relieved early.
*********

If one evaluated the day in terms of attacks by hostile aliens, the unknown phenomena one might encounter in space exploration or the many malfunctions that could occur on a starship, it was a perfectly unremarkable duty shift. If however one paid close attention to the nuances of the human interaction on the bridge this day, a very interesting little drama was in the making.

 

Janeway fidgeted.  She was not entirely certain what it was but more than once she caught Ensign Kim throwing Lieutenant Paris anxious looks. She then noticed that when Harry wasn't watching Tom, he was stealing glances at Chakotay and though Tom seemed intent upon his task, the shift in his body language whenever she and Chakotay spoke to one another was like a shout cutting through the silence of an afternoon grown still, awaiting the breaking of a storm.

 

She sighed and when Chakotay gave her a questioning glance, she only raised an eyebrow at him. She pondered the situation for a few quick seconds more.

 

'So what is going on, Commander?' she ventured at last.

 

The question, she thought, was quietly asked, pitched to cause minimal disruption to the smooth operation of tasks around them but her eyes flickered in Tom's direction when his back stiffened ever so slightly.

'What do you mean, Captain?'

>So he wants to play this game,< Janeway thought.

'Have you noticed Harry practically squirming all morning? You and Tom seem to be consuming all his attention today. Let's hope there are no nasty surprises out there. He's hardly paid any attention to the sensors. Lieutenant Paris doesn't seem to have flying foremost on his mind this morning either,' she continued. 'Good thing it's relatively smooth sailing right now.  If we'd been in the middle of an asteroid belt, he'd have crashed the ship.'

Chakotay heard the jesting in her voice but thought it would be appropriate to have a word with Mr. Kim all the same.  A for Paris, well, he didn't want to dwell on the thought of having him alone in his office right now. 

'When I saw them at breakfast, they seemed to be involved in a pretty heavy conversation.  You know they're best friends, Kathryn. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about,' he quietly said.

He knew damn well that she would worry anyway. He also knew that she was trying to figure out just how he fitted into all of this.

When Kathryn settled back into her chair, mind on other worries, Tom allowed himself to relax and enjoy his time at Voyager's helm.  Finally, with blessed silence behind him, he could lose himself in the task at hand.  He sighed, thinking how much he would like to fly a few graceful loop-de-loops ending with a quick series of corkscrew turns.  Maybe lay Voyager on her side for awhile, giving those inertial dampers a bit of a workout.  Perhaps by putting Voyager through some fancy but gentle moves, he could forget about the ache in his heart, the lump in his belly.

'Go ahead, Lieutenant,' came a soft voice from right behind him. A large hand rested on the back of his chair. 'Let's have some interesting flying.'

How did he know? How could he tell? It didn't matter.  With Voyager under his hands and the warmth from Chakotay's proximity engulfing him, nothing else in the galaxy mattered.  Eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed, Tom let go. As he flew Voyager through the graceful maneuvers he had just been dreaming about, the worry plaguing him since breakfast fell away. He thought with amusement that this little exercise was certainly a sure-fire way to get his mind back on the task at hand: a few short moments ago he had been so distracted, that if it were possible to crash a starship in an asteroid belt, he'd have managed it.

'Resume normal speed and previous heading, Lieutenant.'

After executing his order, Tom could not stop himself from looking up at Chakotay, triumph, joy, contentment in those startling blue eyes, all there to be plainly seen.  Chakotay stopped himself from smiling, barely, and Tom Paris was puzzled by the return of that pensive look. When he looked quickly in Harry's direction, Tom had to bite his bottom lip to stifle a chuckle:  Harry looked as if he might pass out from the tension.

'Be in my office at 1800 hours, Paris.'

Chakotay did not wait for a response.

Tom, his stomach plummeting to his toes, suppressed his surprise.  As he attempted to return his heart rate to something resembling normal and to make sense of this turn of events, the Commander was at Harry's station, seemingly reviewing the day's Ops log with him. He then watched, as unobtrusively as possible, as Chakotay nodded to Janeway and left the bridge. His duty shift was over. Tom could not resist.  He glanced at Janeway.

She was watching him like a hawk.

He gave her his most innocent smile, the one that said, 'It wasn't me: I didn't do it!' and turned back to the helm.  He didn't dare look at Harry.
********

'Up for some dinner?' Harry asked as they left the bridge together.

Their shift over, the two friends found themselves sharing the turbo lift. Tom shook his head.

'No. I think Chakotay wants to chew me out for something I did today. Gods know what....'

'Probably the same thing I did,' Harry mumbled.

'Yeah, I noticed him at your station just before his shift ended.  So  you got an idea why I'm in for it?'

Harry flushed slightly.  'Well, if he let's you have it for being inattentive on the bridge, you'll be the second one he gives that lecture to.'

Tom chuckled, 'Well at least this time, I've got a partner in crime. Maybe I'll catch you at Sandrine's later.'

The turbo lift halted: Tom sauntered out flashing Harry a devil-may-care grin.  Harry only shook his head as the lift doors closed.

No one watching Tom make his way to Chakotay's office  would have been able to tell that his heart was in his throat, his stomach in a knot.  He tried to chide himself for being so juvenile, tried to tell himself that this was nothing, that he should just take his medicine, keep his mouth closed and move on. But Harry's morning advice and the state of mind in which his recurring dream left him niggled at his brain, left him feeling.... reckless.  Gods! Now was not the time to play daredevil, he thought.  But it was a familiar feeling rising in him now, one specifically honed to protect his true self. He stopped before the office door, pressed the chime without hesitation and waited for that soft voice to give permission to enter.

'Sit down, Lieutenant.'

Chakotay looked alot more relaxed than Tom thought he had any right to be. Though feeling distinctly uncooperative, he did as the Commander requested.

'Want to tell me what was going on the bridge today?'  Chakotay began, making himself comfortable next to Tom on the sofa.

'Nothing, Commander. You yourself suggested I try a few moves....'

Chakotay gave a mental sigh. Paris right now at best was taciturn, at worst downright hostile.  The waves of confrontation emanating from the man nearly caused him to move away a fraction. Damn.  He did not want a big fight.  Not right now.

'I'm not talking about that. Both you and Ensign Kim were a bit preoccupied today.  The Captain remarked on it.  She made light of it but I thought if there was a problem... '

The words were out of Paris' mouth before his brain even registered the desire to speak. Horrified, he heard himself say, 'Always gotta be her knight in shining armour, eh, Chakotay!?'

'I'm First Officer.  I'm suppose to know what's happening amongst the crew.  It's my job to sort out any potential problems....'  it was calmly said, much to Chakotay's surprise.  Right about now he should be losing his temper with Paris.

It was too calmly said for Tom's liking.

'If she wanted a word with me,' Tom began furiously, 'don't you think she would have demanded to see me there and then?'

 

Some small part of him began to wonder just what had tipped him over the edge. He was nearly consumed with fury.  Tom locked blue eyes crackling with anger and frustrated desire upon those bottomless dark ones and nearly exploded with rage to see barely disguised humour in them. When Tom's eyes widened a fraction, Chakotay smirked.

 

>I'll give him something to smirk about,< was Tom's last coherent thought as he

launched himself at Chakotay.

 

They landed on the floor, the Commander under him. No time for the other to react as he instantly brought his mouth down hard and insistent onto Chakotay's. Tom clawed frantically at Chakotay's turtleneck before finally, Chakotay was able to capture those hands. Without breaking the kiss, before Tom realized what was happening, Chakotay had him pinned under his superior weight. 

 

Tom sucked that full bottom lip as Chakotay rubbed himself slowly, torturously against the long lean body beneath him.  Tom's head fell back, soft sounds of passion escaping him as his hips began to move under a power of their own.  He thought he might climax from this alone.

'Not yet, Lieutenant,' that caressing voice came in his ear. 'Not yet.'

Instantly, he was at work, removing Tom's boots and uniform and then his own.  Tom watched him, eyes dark and with a smile he could no more control than he could the orbits of planets or the dances of the galaxies.  Chakotay smiled back and as he laid his solid brown body over Tom's, they sighed in unison.

Chakotay bent down, capturing Tom's mouth, kissing the young man deeply and thoroughly.  He kissed his way to the fine jaw, traveled up Tom's exposed neck to lick and nibble an ear. The big man smiled at Tom's sharp intake of breath and his fingers moved to Tom's pale nipples, gently teasing and rolling them.  Mouth soon replaced fingers, slow licks and gentle bites coaxing both to hard little points.

Tom softly moaned. His hands clenched and unclenched as his body moved against Chakotay, finding its own rhythm.  When Chakotay turned his attention to Tom's flat, hard stomach, teasing the coarse hair beginning below the navel, Tom's hard cock twitched in anticipation.  Chakotay grunted in approval.  Reverently, he kissed the top insides of Tom's thighs, then trailed slow, wet kisses to his scrotum.

Tom was murmuring softly now, words Chakotay could hardly hear, barely understand but still, he knew.  His own need was nearly as great, the smell, taste and sound of the younger man driving him mad with passion.  He paused, only for a moment, to look at Tom. Face flushed with desire, eyes half closed, he was lost in sensual delirium. With a sigh that came from his soul, Chakotay lowered his head and closed his lips firmly around Tom's weeping member.  Expertly he sucked, feeling Tom's climax building, coaxing him ever closer to the edge.

After spreading a bit of moisture around, a large hand replaced that warm wet mouth and Chakotay moved up Tom's body to whisper in his ear as he stroked him firmly:

'So beautiful. So beautiful .... and *mine*....'

His breath was soft against Tom's ear: he nuzzled him and then slowly dipped the tip of his tongue just inside that ear. With a wail, Tom began to come.  An orgasm that started in his toes, rocketed through his body.  Pearly liquid covered Chakotay's hand, his cock and his scrotum.

As Tom gave a ragged sigh, Chakotay was once again on the move.  Gently, he drew Tom's knees up to his chest and using Tom's own semen,  prepared him slowly, gently though he thought he might die from wanting.  A tiny sob of gratitude escaped him when Tom started thrusting his hips and Chakotay positioned himself just outside that puckered opening. Blue eyes, dark with passion, locked onto midnight black ones. Sighing with abandon, Chakotay pushed in.

Tight, hot, incredibly good; he murmured in ecstasy and when he felt Tom responding beneath him, Chakotay thrust deeper.  Once again, he covered that long muscular body with his own solid form, trapping Tom's hardening member between them, setting a steady rhythm, rocking deeper and deeper into the beautiful man under him.  He could feel his own orgasm building and when Tom's arms came around him to hold him so tightly he thought they might merge into one, Chakotay fastened onto Tom's neck, sucking urgently and feeling the pulse strong and rapid.

As Tom moaned, swept away by his second orgasm of the evening, Chakotay closed his eyes against the perfection of it all, coming hard and forever, deep inside Tom's golden body.

They rested in each other's arms, breathing and hearts returning slowly to normal, basking in the contentment as Chakotay grew soft within Tom.  Brushing his lips softly against Tom's temple, Chakotay sighed and rolled off him and Tom immediately moved close, resting his head on the big man's shoulder, his fingertips finding and brushing over dark nipples. At last.

'When were you going to tell me, Tom?'

A pause, during which Tom Paris pressed his nose against the broad chest and pressed his exhausted body even closer to the equally exhausted one beside him.  He gave a wicked chuckle.

'And just how did you know, Big Man?'

He felt Chakotay smile and looked up into eyes sparkling with humour and a grin that showed off the Commander's dimples to their fullest.

He pursed his lips then quipped, 'Because I'm the Commander and you are just a lowly lieutenant....'

Chakotay felt ridiculously pleased with himself when Tom gave a snort. He continued softly, 'Really, Tom. Did you think I didn't notice?'

'I didn't think I was being all that obvious.'

Still, he wondered just how long he would have been able to ignore that delicious, recurring dream.  Perhaps one day, he would tell Chakotay about it.  Right now, lazing in the physical aftermath of the real thing, relishing each ache and bruise, Tom Paris didn't think he'd trouble himself about the dream very much.

'I suppose you weren't,' the quiet voice murmured in his ear as fingers caressed his back. 'But there were little things and then when I saw you and Harry at breakfast this morning....'

'Lightning struck?'

'Well, not exactly but things I suspected became certain.'

'You hated me at first.  You can't deny it.  But I saw it change over time.....'

'Surprised at how much of a change it's been?'

He heard the jesting in Chakotay's voice and put on his best smart-aleck tone, 'Well surprising as it may seem, Commander, I had my suspicions about *you.*  It's a thin line....  and all of that.....'

Thin line indeed, thought Chakotay as he made a little sound of happiness and pulled Tom even more closely to himself.
******

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