"Tonio looks more beautiful than I've ever seen  him," I confided to Kipp.  "Greythorn looks like he's been to hell and back."

"You would too if you'd just done what he did," she carelessly replied and I was surprised to see her suck her lower lip as if wishing she could take the words back.

I tried not to stare at her and failed.  She was the same Kipp I'd always known and just as certainly, she was not.  She knew me completely - could read me like a  book as the tired old saying went.  The peculiar link we always seemed to have shared had only grown stronger since the time we'd been with Auriel and Adamnae and I couldn't help thinking how time seemed to have lost all meaning.  Was it days ago or years?  The afternoon when she first met Auriel in that downtown restaurant seemed like a life that belonged to someone else.  It was a meeting that brought her to Adamnae, which had changed her life completely, and I was directly responsible for this.

"What did he do?" I asked.

Kipps eyes were too bright and disconcerting in the Club's dim lighting.  Now a peculiar shade of grey that sometimes gave the impression of being completely colourless, it was easily apparent that a lot of her vision was in some shadow world where future possibilities lay tangled.  She could unravel them now, deftly; skeins of wool and she a cosmic weaver, pulling the strands apart before threading them through her loom.  I looked at her and thought I could see her hair growing even as we spoke, twisting and winding of its own accord though the air in the Club was hot, heavy and still.  Adamnae's Seer.

"You know that someone tried to kill Tonio."

"Of course."

It was said more impatiently than I meant it.  Kipp just gave me a look  which I interpreted with difficulty.  The new colour of those eyes seemed sometimes to hide her completely.

"It was a powerful spell, Ishmaela.  Maybe the most powerful thing he's ever done and that's saying  something."

I turned away.  The magic always made me nervous; the magic and the dreams.  It was impossible for me to know where my reality began anymore.  Anything I remembered or felt or thought or  dreamed, could be happening or would happen.  Or not.  For a moment, I felt as if I stood in absolute darkness, uncertain whether I stood on my feet or balanced precariously on my head.

Kipp laughed.  "Be Auriel's boy and everything will become clear to you, Sweetie.  I don't think you want that though, do you?"

I made an impatient sound and ignored her taunting.

"Tell me about Greythorn, Kipp."

 *Always giving orders,*  she sighed.  *Something learned from Auriel?*

I laughed despite the irritation I was trying to retain.  I wasn't completely certain why I bothered.  Kipp knew her way around me too well.

"He worked a dream spell, Ishmaela --- locked her in a recurring nightmare.  Every night, she's there when her brothers die."  Kipp paused.  "Her brothers nearly killed Tonio.  I think in the dream, she's her youngest brother."

A part of me didn't want to know how Kipp knew all this.  However, my wonder that Kipp should know the ins and outs of Greythorn's spells quickly gave way to morbid fascination.

"A woman?"  My eyebrow shot up and Kipp nodded sagely.

"Yeah," she agreed, "exactly what you're thinking.  Jealous lover.  Too jealous.  What was that short  story?  You know:  the perfect way to keep a lover was to murder him?"

No wonder Auriel kept Greythorn close by.  The two of them together....

 *The _four_ of them.  Adamnae and Remir,* Kipp reminded me.

I blinked.  The strength of the magic they could work!  Auriel and Adamnae were on the dance floor now, entwined around each other in such a way that I was under no illusion about what would happen this evening.  I sighed.

"The story is 'A Rose For Emily' by Faulkner.  Amazing tale."

Kipp turned her strange eyes upon me then but said nothing.  My attention returned to the Others, who danced, drank, flirted and engaged openly in hot and heavy petting.  Something was settling in my breast, something I wished I could either crush or ignore.  I resisted reaching out for Auriel and tried to keep my churning emotions under control.  The desire for escape inundated me and I was almost on my feet when Kipp's hand sought mine.

 "Let's go get a drink, Ishmaela.  You look like you need one."

The bar was suddenly too busy.  Kipp took control and waded into the surging crowd.  I was astounded to see people make way for her,  turning slightly at her approach and giving way  when they saw her.  She was soon at my side again, clutching a generous measure of vodka.  The best in the house, I was certain.  I led the way to a secluded corner, from which I could watch the bar and only a small section of the dance floor.  I was suddenly glad I could not see Auriel and Adamnae.

 "Doesn't it bother you?"  I asked her suddenly.  "They have such a strange relationship...."

Kipp shrugged.  "Why should I worry about something I can't change?  It's something  that doesn't really concern me.  Adamnae and I still have our relationship."

"You sound like the two of them."

"I'm only speaking the truth."

I swallowed my vodka in one go.

"I can't think what's put you in such a mood," she finally said, shaking her head.  "Not getting enough of Auriel?"

I heard the laughter in the question but was not inclined to participate in the joke.  The truth was, I wasn't certain why I was so agitated this evening.  I had resolved the issue of Adamnae long ago, hadn't I? 

 "Apparently not.  Look.  I'll get you another vodka.  Promise me you'll try to relax."

She took the small glass from my hand and kissed me quickly then turned towards the bar.  I slumped against  the wall behind me and closed my eyes for a second.  This would never do.  I decided rather than allow Kipp to get me drunk on vodka, it was best if I retreated to my bunker.

"Hello, Ishmaela."

My eyes  flew open at the sound of that voice.  Tonio stood before me smiling.  I got a glimpse of mischief  in his black eyes before he lowered them playfully.  His black hair, always stylishly cut in the past, had  been allowed to grow and was well on its way to his shoulders. 

"I think we're in public enough place for me to risk saying hi.  I'd give you a friendly kiss but I think Grey would have a heart attack if he  found out."

The memory of that potentially dangerous dinner not so long ago passed through me, leaving a slight chill.  I laughed softly, shaking off the disquiet and mostly because I suddenly really wanted to, leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the mouth.

"Auriel does seem to have developed an antipathy towards you."

He forced a grin.  "Should I take it personally?"

 I shrugged.  "Perhaps.  I'd never seen him like that before."

But I had also never seen him kill, a thought I buried as soon as it was born. 

"Maybe it was only that you weren't one of them  and he distrusted you," I continued, wondering if the explanation was for Tonio or myself.

He gave a hint of a smile.  "You're not one of them either."

 "But ... it seems to be different with women."  I hesitated.  "We understand.  Few men do."

His eyes lost focus suddenly and I wondered if he was again experiencing his recent brush with death.  My words brought me visions as well --- strong ones of the City of the Others, the women I had seen there and it seemed as if I stood upon the wild cliffs that ringed it.

 "Ishmaela, maybe it is something more.  Maybe it's just another way to defeat and control us."

His voice dissipated the spell.  I thought perhaps he held the key to the secret places inside me, easily  seeing the thoughts and emotions I hid even from myself.  Momentarily startled, I had no immediate reply for him.  I watched as he fumbled for another cigarette but left it unlit when he finally secured it between his  first two fingers.  He joined me against the wall.  Something dark and disturbing flitted across his face so quickly, I doubted that I saw it as he turned back to the dance floor. 

 "You don't really believe that," I said.

"Not sure what I believe anymore.  Safer to suspend belief altogether and that's easy to do when I'm in Greythorn's bed." 

He coloured slightly at the  look of understanding I gave him.  Giving a little shrug, he said,  "Oh well.    I'm still here --- surviving.  Not dead.  Happy."

"In that order?"

 "Hmm.  Maybe not exactly."

He watched the frantic activity at the bar, flicked his gaze to the bit of dance floor we could see, then back to me.

"No vodka tonight?"

 "Kipp's getting some right now," I smiled. 

Of course I knew that sleeping with Auriel had changed me.  I knew that the change I saw in Kipp was waiting for me too.  I was sensitive to the changes in my old friend.  Yet there was something about Tonio  that puzzled me.  When it suddenly hit me what it was, he must have felt my surprise.  He turned to me, heat rising to his face and it was an unspoken  certainty between us.  He was not an Other yet.  Quick as thought, the space that seperated us changed and I knew, if I reached out my hand, I would surely feel the wall that was there.

 "Don't, Tonio," I said.  "I don't mean to judge.  You should know that."

"Should I?"

"You should.  Look, I haven't let Auriel take me that way either.  Not that it matters at all.  The only thing that *does* matter is what you want."

"You'll eventually let Auriel take you that way," Tonio said softly.

 "I think you'll do the same for Greythorn -- when you're ready."

I glanced away from him, wondering if I dare try to explain what lay so heavily in my heart, while my head  filled with visions of days spent  lying in Auriel's arms, as he whispered half my name.  Far in the distance, I saw Ishmaela and she turned to briefly look in my direction before facing the expanse of horizon again.  Even if I could explain my visions, would Tonio understand?

He appeared more relax.  I wasn't fooled but decided to take advantage of the moment.

"You don't have to tell me, Tonio..."

 "Uh-oh.  Prying question time.  Do you *really* mean it?  I don't have to tell you if I don't want to?"

I chuckled.  "No.  I lied.  You must tell me everything."  I paused, thought again about the wisdom of striking out into this emotional territory.

"What attracts you to Greythorn?"  I finally, bluntly asked him.

Tonio laughed and finally lit the cigarette he held.

 "You mean aside from the fact that he's beautiful and so sexy it's unbelievable.  What is it with the Others anyway?  How do they manage to just exude sex?"

A little snort was my reply, that and  silence.  How to answer such a question?  If I tried, would my version of an answer fit Tonio's idea of Greythorn?  Would his explanation fit my reality of Auriel?

"And....  I was curious.  I was  curious and flattered," he softly said.  "Why would such a powerful creature pay attention to me?  What would it be like to... have him.  When he started playing those games with me, I didn't know whether to be scared shitless or excited as hell!

"Then, I saw him one night in I Tre Merli.  Shit.  He was the most gorgeous thing in the place.  I could barely say two words to him.  He saw how pathetic I was, standing there nearly tongue-tied.  But he let me know that he was interested and....  Well, everything sort of faded in significance after that.  One thing led to another and here I am."

 They are overwhelming.  Sometimes I think that we have no choice once we are chosen by one of them.  Like a drug we can't resist.  Nothing matters.  Everything comes down to them.

 Tonio looked at me and, though I knew he heard my thoughts,  I could not interpret his expression.

*I wouldn't be anywhere else,* he sent to me.

No, of course you wouldn't.  But Tonio, one word of advice.  To  really know Greythorn, you'll eventually have to experience all of him.  He is not a man, nor is he a woman...

He was nodding, taking in my unspoken advice, but whatever reply he would have made was never voiced  as Kipp appeared at my side, proffering vodka.  She looked at Tonio and he flushed.  I swallowed a wince and hid the emotion behind the shot glass.

 "Heavy conversations?" she questioned, amused.  "Don't worry.  Your secret's safe with me."

"We don't have secrets, do we, Tonio?"  I replied, maybe too quickly.

 Kipp shrugged then chuckled.  "How are you, Tonio?  Grey keeping you occupied?"

He nodded.  "Ishmaela and I were just talking about him."

He looked at her closely and I remembered suddenly that he had not seen her since the evening the three of us had dinner together.  I watched him take in the change, draw into himself just a little more.  I think if I had not known Kipp for so many years, she would now have the same effect on me.

"And no doubt giving you advice she's reluctant to follow herself," Kipp laughed.

"Kipp!"

 "Don't worry, Ishmaela.  Didn't I tell you your secret's safe with me?"
<><><><><>

The Boss and Adamnae had eyes only for each other this evening.  There was   electricity in the air that raised the hair on the back of my neck, made my senses tingle.  I wondered who was guarding the door this evening and hoped that this anticipation nagging me wasn't a premonition of trouble to  come.  There'd be plenty of that when it came time to leave.  I didn't much relish the thought of getting Ish home but knew that the job would fall to me this evening.  And watching her in the dark corners,  seeking comfort from Kipp, it wasn't hard to work out her state of mind -- if the Boss could be bothered to look.

Adamnae was rubbing himself sensuously, rhythmically against Auriel and perversely, I began to wonder who was  doing what to who.  The growing sensation between my legs couldn't be ignored for long and so, I searched for Tonio.

I found him with Ish and Kipp.  His defences were in place which surprised me a little.  Perhaps things were not as tight between Ishmaela and him as I had thought.  Kipp stood there, amused from what I could figure.  Those colourless eyes of hers fastened on to me and seemed to see my every thought.

 "Hello, Greythorn," Ish greeted me.  "I don't think I've seen you since... oh... that afternoon in my apartment."

"Business.  You know how it is," I shrugged helplessly.

I moved to Tonio and took him in my arms.  I let him feel my need and was mesmerised by the rush of blood to his face.  I demanded his surrender and he let me kiss him.  Not caring, I deepened the kiss, pulling him roughly  to me, and pressed my body firmly into his.  He responded without hesitation then and it crossed my mind to take him and make him one of us this very night.

*Don't rush me, Grey.*

I laughed and released him.

Ish was  watching us and I thought perhaps there was envy in her eyes.  Kipp had drawn close to her, leaning against the wall next to her so that their arms touched.  I suddenly had the impression that Kipp had an agenda of her own this evening.

Then, to my horror, Ish said, "Kipp tells me you've had something of an adventure recently."

*Don't go there, Ishmaela,*  Kipp's warning came clearly.

I glanced at Tonio.  He  watched me with an expression of disbelief, poised like an animal about to leap.

"Why not?  I want to hear all the details.  What exactly did you do..."

 I stopped the words in her throat.  Shut up *now.*

"What's this all about, Greythorn?" Tonio asked softly.

I could have blasted her where she stood.  I turned on my heel and strode away as quickly as I could, feeling Tonio behind me.  He caught me, grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"What's going on?  Seems everyone knows something I don't and I get the feeling it's something I *should* know about.  Let  me guess..."

Tonio, don't.

"Did you kill her?"

The rage was building, my blood burning.  The effort it took to cling to some small amount of control exploded my heart and short-circuited my brain.  The short distance that seperated Tonio and me was charged; hot, humid, dead still waiting for the lightningbolt to blast the earth between us.  That my hands were fists, my teeth clenched like a vice, were  realisations that reached me through a red haze.  People around us paused, stared at us and backed away as a tremor, maybe felt only by me, rattled my bones.  The lightning was about to strike.

 "He's got the right to know, Grey," a voice came softly. 

It was Remir, of course.  He was tentatively reaching for me.  I could feel his calm and his support.

 "Answer me, Greythorn.  Did you kill her?"

"No.  She isn't dead.  But she'll never forget what she tried to do and what it cost her."

 He was confused but relieved and that relief he felt went through me with the heat of the sun's core.  

*Please don't be angry,* I heard.

"Maybe I should have killed her," I snarled, my anger white hot, "if that's the only way to break whatever hold she has on you!"

I couldn't say what emotion crossed his face then -- hurt, followed swiftly by anger, maybe.  He hardened visibly against me, dropped my arm as if  it burned him.  I turned to continue my journey away from him -- away from Ish whose stupid meddling had brought us all to this point.

Maybe there was something good to come out of this mess after all.  On my rush to solitude, I caught a glimpse of Auriel and Adamnae, their foreplay interrupted.  I knew they would be trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.  Let others explain it to them.  I stalked off  towards the door.

Some sort of spring was coming to Manhattan.  I could remember happier ones - springs that brought joy and wonder with new life.  This spring was different.  The little buds noticeable on the trees now didn't make me stop and breathe deeply.  I used to do that; take a minute, fill my lungs, remember that I was alive and that the whole world lay before me.

Well, the world lay before me now but I knew it was  dying.  This world stretched away from me.  The poor bastards scrambling away from me wondered if I brought them death.  Yes, I bring you death - my bare hands, my knife, my magic.

Things that were once human  slept and huddled in doorways and I reached for their souls and squeezed their lives away.  It was much better for them, I told myself; snapped out of existence rather than the agonisingly slow death that they would have  seen.

Damn them all anyway.  Damn her.

My rage was dissolving into the spring night.  I began to wonder why I'd been so angry with Ish and with Tonio.  I knew what his reaction would be to my battle with his ex.  What the hell did I expect?  It was stupid of me to think I could keep what I'd done from him.  Maybe he'd understand better once he was one of us.

Would he want to be one of us now?  The thought  wouldn't leave me alone and I didn't think I could stand it if he rejected me now....

Something pricked my senses as I turned to make my way back to the Club.  I couldn't believe I'd let my defences down enough to be  caught off guard like this but here I was, as if I stood naked on the street, and something hostile pulsing deadly intent at me.  For a second, I thought of running but anything I might have thought about doing was rendered moot when she stepped out of the dark, hands steady and extended before her.  I noticed the gun as an afterthought.

What sort of power hid her from me?  It was the only thing I could think about as I  watched her fingers twitch almost imperceptibly to squeeze the trigger.

Not so easy to kill me, I laughed at her as I launched myself skyward.  But my moment of triumph quickly turned to mind-exploding horror.  A  familiar form leapt out of nowhere, its target, the woman.  The crack of gun shots rented city noise and hit me with physical force.  I came back to solid ground.  Tonio lay at my feet and under him, eyes staring unseeing into the night, lay the woman he'd tried so hard to protect.
<><><><><>

That stillness hung about Auriel as he stepped out of the crowd towards me - that stillness I did not like and  which always only meant one thing.  Kipp stood nervously by my side.  Whatever reprimand she wanted to make was swallowed by his approach.

Adamnae swaggered behind him.  I saw him lock eyes with Kipp and knew  the entire scene between Greythorn and me and Tonio and Greythorn was being described to him.

"What did you think you were doing?"  Auriel said softly.  "Nevermind.  You obviously didn't think at  all."

The embers of my hurt and anger burst suddenly into flames and I narrowed my eyes at Auriel.

"Did all of you *really* think you could keep this secret from Tonio?"

*Stupid girl!*  Auriel spat.  *Do you think it matters at all what _we_ want?!  It was Greythorn's business!  Grey was the one to decide how and when the boy should know."

He turned to Kipp then and for one horrible moment I feared for her life.  I saw my worry flash across Adamnae's face as well. 

*Kipp, there is a certain responsibility that comes with being part of the Council...*

She bristled slightly but her body language spoke  of reconciliation.  My actions suddenly seemed so petty  --- and I certainly hadn't meant for them to affect Kipp like this.

"Auriel..."

He turned away, his eyes flashing.  He pulled Adamnae aside  and they conferred silently, briefly.  Remir appeared.  His face was colourless.

"Something has happened..."  I heard him say.

Kipp suddenly snapped to attention as the three Others burst into  activity but it was as if our existence had been forgotten by them.  Everyone in our corner had paused to witness the drama and I was certain that rumour would run rampant.  When Auriel, Adamnae and Remir disappeared,  everyone around us went slowly back to their pleasures.  But the mood had shifted.  There was a tension in the air which threatened to erupt into violence with very little provocation.  For the first time since I  had become involved with these people, I was mortally afraid.

*Don't be ridiculous, Ishmaela.  They would never hurt you.*

Kipp dangled keys before my nose.  I smiled weakly at the prospect of barrelling downtown, once again, in Greythorn's precious sports car.

"Kipp, I'm so sorry.  I never meant...."

*Shut up.  I couldn't say it at the time but Auriel is as much to blame... perhaps I'll tell him so when everyone is a little calmer.*

Words for Auriel, apologies to Greythorn and Tonio -- I had a lot of thinking to do.  In my pride, I couldn't imagine facing anyone again. 

 *Get over it, Ishmaela,* Kipp suddenly growled.  *It was an honest mistake.  Move on.*

Perhaps I would eventually take her advice but at that moment, it was more than I was willing to think about.  I threw my head against the head rest and sank into the car's comfortable bucket seat, wishing the growing acceleration could speed me from this problem.

Do you know what happened, Kipp?  I've got a bad feeling....

 *Something about Greythorn and Tonio.  That's all I know, really.*

I eyed her sceptically.  Was Auriel's lecture about being on the Council sinking in?  Was Kipp now keeping secrets from me?

She did not grace  the thought with a reply but put her foot to the floor and the Westside of Manhattan rushed by.  It suddenly registered that we were not headed for the Lower Eastside.  At no point had Kipp gone cross-town.  It  was soon obvious that we were headed for her apartment and I found myself apprehensive at the prospect.

She still had not said a word to me and it unnerved me a little to find that I could not feel her thoughts or get a  glimpse of anything she was feeling.  The realisation that I sat next to a stranger hit me full force and a small voice tried to scream about the danger.

Kipp carelessly parked Greythorn's car and locked it, though she knew it could ultimately be a futile gesture.  I followed her wordlessly to her door and then into her apartment.  She was peeling off my jacket, something about her hands on me, the intent stare of those eyes, made  me sharply draw breath.  She smiled a smile I'd never seen before and kissed me.  I froze.

There was something familiar about this, something I knew I should remember.  Kipp's hands on me felt right, as if my  body recalled something that my mind did not.  I could not permit this, however.  No one could touch me like this except Auriel.

Kipp laughed softly and took my hands in hers.

 "Don't you want to make the dream reality, Ishmaela?"

I understood instantly what she meant.  It was all so neat, so simple.  Here was Kipp when I needed her -- when she needed me  -- and, somewhere in the city night, Adamnae and Auriel worked together whatever dark magic they saw as necessary.  I wondered if the two of them expected this to happen.

No, I wanted to say, in answer to her question, but it was coming  back to me, powerfully, like no dream at all.  More like an alternative state of consciousness was that slow afternoon in the camp of the Dark Rider.  Memories rolled in, like a tide slowly but surely reclaiming  exposed, damp sand.  The sounds of the sea, the sounds of Adamnae and Auriel lost in passion, Kipp's whimpers of satisfaction against my skin:  I could almost hear it all again.

I found myself in her bedroom, the two of us naked, a pounding throughout my body like the crashing of that sea.  I knew where they were then and I knew too that someone would die this evening.

 *Someone already has,* she told me and pulled me down into crisp cotton sheets.

She caressed  me.  Her knowing fingers soothed away aches I did not know I had.  Now and again, I could feel her mouth against my  skin as she kneaded tense muscles.  I dissolved under Kipp's touch, wondering why it took Auriel and Adamnae to bring us to this point.  But I did not dwell on this and when Kipp took me, finally, into her arms, our kiss ended all speculation abruptly.
<><><><><>

We appeared on a hillside, a short distance from the City.  I could feel him against me, knew that if I looked down, he'd appear asleep  against me.  I'd marvel at the impossible length of those black lashes of his, tighten my hold on him and be rewarded with a small smile. 

This was to be his new home and I knew he'd want to know how we got  here.  I could hear his voice, could hear him murmur my name - the affection when he shortened it to Grey.

The weather here is often grey and stormy but now, the sky was scattered with puffs of clouds that didn't threaten rain.  Wisps of white stretched between thicker clouds, as if a storm had recently broken up.  The sun was warm and strong, drying the heather around us.  Though I couldn't see it, I knew our city sparkled in the sunlight.  How would he have felt, looking down upon our magic?

I could see him now at the top of the path that led down towards the City.  There was a look in his black eyes when he looked over his shoulder at me; desire, love to last an eternity and a sadness I only partly understood.  I wanted to take him to the sea, throw him into the cold water and hold him there 'til he begged for mercy, then lay him out on the drying sand and cover that strong body with my own to chase away the chill.  But our time together was at an end and perhaps the unbearable reality of that was what I saw in his expression. 

Tonio smiled a smile to  match the sunlight.  The vision dissipated then, shimmering droplets in the crisp, clean air, and I stood alone above our City with a small hard stone of grief where my soul used to be.
<><><><><>

Like what you've read? Have suggestions or constructive criticism? Email me! tlyr (at) tlyr.co.uk