"Don't you think feminine was a strange choice of words?" I mused.  "Appropriate, I suppose...."

"He  was speaking about stereotypes, as you well know.  And let me tell you, he's right on the money.  It was scary just how stupid those guys were.  They only saw what they wanted to see and what they saw were a bunch of ...."

"Oh please.  Don't say it."

"Fags and queens...."

I laughed.  That anyone could look at Auriel, Adamnae and their people and see only one thing, not understand the complexity of what was there before, them seemed inconceivable.

 "Yeah.  Feminine equals soft and submissive.  Masculine equals hard and macho.  God.  I don't want to think about this too much.  I know plenty of women that would beat the crap out of any guy that tried any macho stuff with them."

Kipp tossed her head.  "And they aren't considered *feminine,* are they?  No, we both know exactly what Auriel meant when he said that.  I can just imagine Adamnae and him laughing at some of the things that have happened to the two of them when unsuspecting guys approach them thinking they are women."

 She was suddenly somber.  We sat in my apartment on a Saturday afternoon, a few days after the incident in the club.   She had called that very next day, as promised, as I lay in my bed with Auriel.  I had  listened to her protestations that she was fine but had been disturbed that she still did not want to tell me exactly what she had seen.

This day, the wan afternoon sunlight fell across us as we lounged on my livingroom floor amongst the large over stuffed pillows Auriel had spread around my space.  Kipp was dressed in faded jeans and an old flannel shirt, the sleeves of which were rolled up so that they were just below her elbows.  She was barefoot and I was fascinated by her toenails which she had painted a deep red, a striking contrast to her pale skin.  I had on the red dressing gown Auriel had given me, not having found the energy to dress this day.

 Kipp fell back on a pillow and continued,  "Male and female just give us points of reference.  It's not right to think of them as either or even as both.  They need a new name for themselves."

 "New name, new pronoun,"  I trailed off.  "Kipp, you never really told me what you saw."

"I don't think I want to.  Auriel told you all you really need to know."  She  paused.  "I've never seen anything like it.  There were five guys and they were...  well, you know the type; gold chains and big gold rings.  Long Island Trouble.  I don't know why I feel this way, but I really think they were let into that club on purpose.  Whoever was at the door *must* have looked at these guys and *known* they were bad news.

"I think they had just about made up their minds that they were  in the wrong place and were leaving when they caught sight of Adamnae and me.  He was being ...  familiar with me...."

"Toying with you.  Teasing you in public - making you feel as if you'd burst into  flames any second!"  I hooted.  "Good at that, aren't they!?"

Kipp rolled her eyes.  "Please.  I saw you and Auriel out on the dance floor..."

 "So you know what I mean.  Anyway, what happened next?"

"They asked for it, is what happened.  They started with this let-me-show-you-what-a-real-man-can-do crap and Adamnae just exploded.  There was a second when I was aware of him going absolutely still - and then, he just *threw* himself at them.  All his people around us did the same and for a second, it was just this huge brawl."

 "I think that's when Auriel and I realised something was wrong.  You screamed."

"Damn right I did.  Those bastards drew knives faster than you or I could blink.  I'm sure they thought they were  going to kicking some queer butt.

"Suddenly, there was this *noise* in my head....  I couldn't move.  Neither could those five guys but they sure as hell knew what was happening to them.   I could see their eyes getting bigger and bigger and the sounds they were making!  Shit, Ishmaela.  I'd never heard sounds like that before.  I found I could move and that's when I started backing out of there."

 We were both quiet for a while.  I knew there was more but now, I wasn't as anxious to hear it as I was just minutes ago.

"Adamnae's people were moving in for the kill but I swear before any of them were near enough, Adamnae himself had taken out the one who had insulted him and tried to touch me --  and at least two others."

"Taken out?"

"You don't want to know."

"Shit."

 "Exactly.  Shit."  She closed her eyes and swallowed.  "I haven't seen Adamnae since that night.  I've felt his thoughts sometimes when he's thinking of me...."  Kipp coloured suddenly and I was spellbound at the sight.

I grunted.  "Do you want to see him?"

"I don't know.  I mean...."

"Kipp, those guys were incredibly stupid...."

"Perhaps.  But how were they to know?  Did they deserve to die?  Auriel and Adamnae are dangerous, Ishmaela and I think....  I think their kind is eventually going to mean the end of us."

I knew she was right, of course.  I also felt as if something were wrong with me that I could not feel anything for the men Adamnae killed.  Would this emotional void exist within me if I had seen Auriel kill those men?

"I think we  should go out," Kipp said suddenly and looked pointedly at me.  "I think we should be with others for as long as we can.  Get dressed and take me to the little bar up the street.  You can buy me some of  that expensive vodka you drink."

I sighed.  Somewhere I found the energy to shower and dress.  I took some care deciding my attire and immediately saw how that amused Kipp as she waited.

"Makeup, even!"  Kipp remarked when I was finally ready.  "He's really gotten under your skin.  The Ishmaela I knew would have spent five seconds getting dressed."

 "That's Ishmaela.  This is Ish."

For a second, we could not move, both aware that I had spoken words that described my current existence exactly.

 "Maybe the problem," she said, "is that I can only be Kipp."

And that is not so big a problem as you think, I reflected.
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I thought perhaps I was  invisible.  I knew others were around me but it was as if I could only see their shadows, dark, darting shapes as they ran by.  Their features were swallowed by the night, by the smoke and the flames of the burning  city.  Their panic was thick in the air, as choking as the black soot that rolled down unfamiliar streets and avenues.

Men and women ran having no destination and knowing that even if they did, no place was safe.  As I watched in horror, some ran screaming into buildings that were now made of nothing but heat and light.  Intense heat;  I thought I should be singed, that I should not be able to stand in this spot and feel  nothing, not even the smallest bit of discomfort.  I thought I should do something, however small and when a young man ran towards me, at full speed, I put out my hand to grab him.

He never slowed but ran right through  me and as he did, I felt his solidity in every tiny part of me, a damp cold that set my teeth on edge and made my bones ache.  Not a sensation I was eager to experience again but I could not understand what was happening and wanted explanations.

Again and again, my hand passed through solid flesh.  Mostly I was ignored for so many were hysterical with fear.  Only occasionally did a flicker of something cross a person's face as I  stood beside them, desperately trying to make myself seen and heard.  I realised that something was happening to the ones I could almost reach.  They looked skyward, eyes round with terror, throats raw with screaming,  then either fell down,dead, or ran into the nearest wall of flame.

I stopped trying to contact them.  I looked skyward too, but could see nothing except black and gray, byproducts of destruction.  Somewhere there  began a small humming, like a ringing in my ears.  I shook my head, thinking perhaps it was the noise and confusion around me.  The second I knew what this humming meant, I frantically scanned the wild and frenzied crowd.

Down dark avenues they ran, silent and deadly as untamed hunting animals, unheeding of fire and heat and intent on only one thing - killing all in their path.  Pale skins, black leathers, their long locks in single braids down their backs, they surged relentlessly forward.  Their weapons, bare hands, knives, guns, a mortal glance; male and female fell before them like waves breaking against a shore, a tide engulfing me.  I stood there amongst the fallen, a lonely outcrop, completely still in a sea of the dead.

Bodies were decomposing already, being sucked into pavement that was rippling and cracking to show earth and grass shoots between the stones.  The attacking creatures were gone, as if they had become one with the darkness and the smoke.  I was left in a place that seemed to have aged decades in seconds.

If this was a dream, I was ready to  wake.  Some power, like hands, took hold of me and pulled me deeper into this land of shadow.  A different sound reached me then, the clop of hooves against what was left of pavement and tarmac.  Out of the gloom appeared two horses, great gleaming beasts, as dark as the night that surrounded me.  Their muscles rippled with their movement and they tossed their large heads as if impatient with the slow pace they were made to keep.  Their eyes were like hot coals:  smoked curled from their nostrils.  I knew if they opened their great mouths, they would have flames for tongues. 

Upon these beasts sat two figures.  As they  drew close to me, I could see they were swathed in black, the fabric shimmering like the animals they rode.  Upon their heads they wore the headdress of the deep desert, veils across their faces as if to protect them from  driving sand.  I could not see their eyes and yet I knew what faces would stare down at me when the veils were pulled aside.

They approached me as if they did not see me, keeping the rhythm of their walk.  I stood there watching, wondering, seeing the mighty beasts they rode as the destroyers of cities of mankind.  As they passed me, one leaned down and a long white hand was extended to me.  I had no control over mine as it reached out and grasped the offered hand.  I found myself upon the great black beast, pressed myself against its rider's back and the heavens, resplendent with stars, opened before us as the horses  lifted their  hooves to canter across space and time.
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There was a quiet in the City now, as if even the traffic was hushed as it wound through dirty, ill-kept streets.  The filth was worse  than usual, I thought as I picked my way through uncollected waste and rubbish from abandoned lives.  Walking to work had become something of a habit now.  In all kinds of weather, I walked the streets, intent on remembering as much as I could from this time.  Life had become unpredictable, muggings, murders, attacks without motive so common now amongst those left in the shadows of these half filled Manhattan buildings.  I  persevered, feeling somehow untouched by it all, thinking somehow, I would survive this assault upon spirit and flesh.

An early weekday morning and downtown, Wall Street seemed a ghost town.  The few people I met passed by with bowed heads or averted their gazes as we passed one another.  To look into the eyes was to look into the core of what the other was and glimpse his fear and despair.  They had no explanation for what was happening and what explanation there was, that this was our end, was too fantastic to be truth.

I wondered just how much longer I would continue to go to the office.  I wondered what would happen when I did not.  A madness was creeping over us all and I suddenly saw myself barricaded in my apartment, making forays in daylight for supplies in ever widening circles as the basics of life dwindled in my immediate neighborhood.  Until  there was warfare for what was left.  I shuddered.

There was one other person I could reach who would understand how I felt this day.  We decided to grab sandwiches at the South Street Seaport.  Neither of us  could bear the thought of a restaurant right now - as if we needed the open air, the crispness of approaching winter to remind us we were still alive.  Bundled up against the chill, Kipp and I munched our sandwiches, curled our fingers around styrofoam cups containing steaming coffee and lost ourselves in the flow of the East River.  Seagulls circled above us, cried plaintively and were unconcerned with the affairs of men and women. 

I looked at Kipp and she was beautiful in her sadness; no sense of hopelessness about her, only a resignation that this was the way things were going to be.  I could feel her moving on, a strange sensation  for I was not certain that I was ready to follow the same path.

"They're giving us time, you know," she said suddenly, shaking wind tossed hair from her face.  "Have you seen Auriel recently?"

 "Not for ages."

She nodded.  I knew she had seen Adamnae.  She did not tell me.  She seldom spoke about him.  However, there was something indefinable about her whenever she had been with  him.  I always knew.

"Are you worried about that?" she wanted to know.

"No.  I feel him sometimes...."

"There's more."

 I sighed.  She was getting much too good at understanding the things I did not say.

"I've been dreaming, Kipp.  Dreams that are disturbingly vivid.  I used to dream like this when I was much younger but as  I got older, I lost the ability.  Now....  The dreams are frightening but I don't dread them.  It's more a case of wanting to know what will happen next."

I sipped my coffee and searched the sky for  gulls.  The river was empty of pleasure craft and commercial craft.  Brooklyn looked deserted as I peered along the opposite riverbank, trying to find signs of life.

"Giving us time for what?"  I  suddenly wanted to know.  "Is this some game to them?  What exactly do they hope to see or learn?"

"Well hell.  If I knew that," Kipp sighed.  "Damn if I know but don't you feel the truth of it?"

I had to agree.  Auriel knew where I was; left his touch on me, on my space, on my life and yet, there was a distance he seemed reluctant to close. 

"He told me that eventually, I'd understand everything," I said.  "He once said that instead of telling me about himself, it was easier to show me."  I felt a chill that had nothing to do with the wind from the river.

 "Yes.  We've seen a bit of what they are..."

"But it isn't a patch on what they can really do," I interrupted.  "We both know what's happening around us - even if I haven't completely  decided what I'm going to do about all of this."

Kipp laughed.  I stared at her, a burst of anger in my breast.

"What you want has absolutely nothing to do with it.  It's all decided, Ishmaela.  You can do what you like for now, but you'll find yourself beside Auriel at the end of it all."

"You've decided then," I accused.

"It was you who got me into this, remember?!  It's a hell of a time to decide that maybe it's all a mistake - with the walls coming down around us."  She gave a little laugh again.  "Tell me.  Where would you rather be under the circumstances?"

Nowhere.   Anywhere.  With him, of course.  How could I doubt it?  Kipp was looking at me, the expression in her eyes telling me she knew my thoughts.

"I just thought I was done with all of this.  I came here  to stand on my own.  To remember who I am...."

"To hide and lick your wounds,"  Kipp murmured.  "But something is happening and it's too big for us to survive on our own - even if we have each other."

I touched her cheek, then kissed the spot.  "We'll always have each other,"  I told her.

"Promise me that because before all this is over, I think that's going to be the most  important thing."

"Cross my heart," I solemnly replied.

"The dreams, Ishmaela," she began, "I think they are important."

"You've got this habit of stating the obvious," I told her, amused.  "I know they are.  Sometimes, I think he sends them."

"Telling you things he cannot say aloud," she mused. 

 Just what I would do with the information, the warnings, I was not sure.

"Do you dream?" I suddenly wanted to know.

Kipp nodded slowly, absentmindedly.  She turned to me with a smile.  "We'll trade  dream stories one day.  I'll tell you all of mine and you'll tell me all of yours.  No fair holding back any details."

I raised my eyebrows.  "Your dreams sound a hell of a lot more interesting than  mine!"

We chuckled together.  I settled into the bench, letting the last of my coffee warm my hands.  

"We could discuss them tonight over dinner and vodka," Kipp suddenly suggested.

 "We could," I agreed.  "Or we could forget about the dreams and get right to dinner and vodka."

"Vodka and dinner, then.  And if the spirit moves us, in-depth analysis of bizarre dreams!"

"You missed your calling, Kipp.  You should have been a shrink."

She laughed and I finished the last of my coffee.

The place we decided upon was on Park Avenue South in the twenties.  I had spent happier days there, times past when it would have been impossible to walk into this establishment right off the street and expect a table.  This evening, however, that was exactly what we did.  The small space was only half full and I quickly scanned the clientele before settling at our table.  Kipp seemed oblivious to it all and ordered a drink almost before she was settled.

We sipped our drinks and talked of inconsequential things.  Mostly, we took comfort in just being together as we thought about the strange turn our lives had taken.  I could feel Kipp letting her guard down, wandering through a multitude of different thoughts and emotions.  I turned my attention from her and began a similar journey.

I realised suddenly how much I missed Auriel.  How empty the apartment seemed without his presence, his ability to occupy my small space completely.  What kept him away?  I remembered my dreams then, thought about destruction and death and the creature I had allowed into my life.  I did not know that person who sat upon his great black steed and watched so much killing.  What did he feel?  I only knew the beautiful one whose smile or touch could make me forget so much.  How far would Auriel permit his people to go?  Was the death of all my kind so necessary?  I wanted him with me now to explain.  I wondered if the dark clothed, silent man of my dreams would speak to me.

I came back to my surroundings slowly.  The dim light, the very low buzz of  conversation around us was so very conducive to meandering thoughts.  So little noise; there was a time when this small space would have been abuzz with the chat of patrons from all walks of life. 

I looked around.

Thinking about it later, I could not believe Kipp and I had not noticed at once.  There was not a man nor a woman in the bistro.  Kipp and I were conspicuously the only humans there.

No.  I must stop thinking of these creatures as something other than human:  they were indeed as human as me.

"Have you noticed anything, Kipp?  I quietly asked.

"What is it?"

 "I think we're the only women in the place."

Kipp quickly looked around.  No one seemed to be paying us any attention at all.  She shrugged and I could feel her accept the situation.  Sitting very still, I allowed my perception to stretch a little further and felt a barrier.  It was not very strong and I pushed a bit.  The barrier did not break but yielded slightly, as if I squeezed a balloon that was half filled with air.  There was no malice, only people protecting their thoughts, their conversations.

"You're not even surprised that you can do that, are you?" Kipp asked suddenly.  "I thought I could  only communicate with Adamnae that way.  It's rather unsettling to find out that I can use it for other things."

I never thought much of the fact that often, Kipp seemed to read my mind.  My assumption was that  this could frequently happen between people who were so close.

"But it is happening more and more now, isn't it?" she queried and I stared at her.  "I've got a theory.  I think screwing Adamnae and Auriel is changing us.  We were both pretty sensitive and in tune with each other before but it was never like this."

Once again, I knew she was right.  Perhaps that was why neither of us had noticed the  clientele of the bistro this evening.  We were used to them, to their particular psychic signatures and their demeanor.  We were a part of them.

 "Interesting," Kipp mused.  "I wonder if they know?"

"I bet there's a lot they don't know about themselves.  Do you think we should tell them?" I smiled.

Kipp tossed her hair and sipped her drink before replying.  "They'll find out soon enough.  I'm more concerned about what this means for us.  What a hell of a thing to walk around with!  Will it get to the point where we won't be able to shut out the thoughts of others?"

"Who knows?  Personally, I don't think so.  If that were going to happen, it would have by now."  I laughed.  "I'm more concerned about  every psychic for miles around knowing when I'm horny as hell and screaming for Auriel - or when I've had the most amazing orgasm."

We laughed.

I was suddenly aware of a young man standing just inside the thick curtain that hung before the door to the street.  He looked disoriented as he scanned the crowd.  Looking for his dinner companions, I thought and began to wonder if I was about to witness the sort of relationship Auriel had mentioned that morning in my bed.

Poor boy.  I did not know where that sentiment came from, for there was nothing about this tall, strong male that invited sympathy.  Kipp's gaze was suddenly upon him and I slowly realised that I knew this boy.

He was frowning, his confusion obvious.  A tall slim woman approached him - the maitre d, I assumed.  I was just turning back to Kipp when he caught sight of me.  A few hurried words to the woman, who I knew to be no woman and who looked at me dubiously, and the young man made his way to our table.  My heart was thumping.  The look the maitre d gave me was complex; recognition,  curiosity and disapproval all at once.

"I'm not surprised they know us," Kipp sighed. 

Before she could say more, the boy had reached our table.

 "Hello, Ishmaela.  You probably don't remember me."

"Of course I do, Tonio.  Have a seat.  Have you lost your dinner companions?"

 "Looks like it.  I suspect the clientele discouraged them."

"Whatever do you mean?" I asked him, fascinated by what answer he would give.

Tonio, the philosopher was what I called him in the privacy  of my thoughts.  We used to sit in the neighborhood bar, early in the evening, sorting out the problems of the world.  It was a task that was always easier and more interesting than sorting out our own.  We clicked in a very peculiar way, an easy attraction that was fed by our common Weltanschauung.  Yet he respected my reticence, my privacy and had the good sense to keep some distance between us.

Black Spanish eyes were  upon me.  He was beautiful in the way that only Central American people can be, the blood of the Old and New Worlds mixing to produce people who never failed to turn heads.  A few patrons started watching us and I  knew it was Tonio who caught their fancy.  I fought the urge to protect.  He was not mine and I had no right.

"They're not exactly like us, are they?"  he continued.  "I hear the word on the street is not to fuck with them - not even if you've got superior numbers."

My mouth fell open.  "How the hell do you know what the word on the street is?!"

"Hey.   I've got my  sources.  There's been some knock down, drag out, *serious* battles going on, Ishmaela."

"So what do you think?"  I pressed.

 "Me?  Whatever I think I know it's not important.  But I'll survive.  I always have."

Kipp snorted.  "It might be difficult this time."

Tonio fixed her with a hard look.

 "Surviving has *never* been easy for the likes of me."  He smiled then to soften his words.  "Hey, I hope you don't mind if I just invite myself to have dinner with you.  I'm pretty certain my  friends are not going to show up."

I looked at Kipp.  She shrugged.

"Sure, Tonio.  Tell me more about what's being said on the street."

He made himself comfortable and fished out cigarettes.   We ordered dinner and then fell silent as Tonio spun his tales of gangland-style war.  Kipp and I listened, riveted, though his news was far from a complete surprise to us.

The main course had been cleared.  The three of us were contemplating dessert when the curtain before the door fluttered and the noise level in the room dipped.  Long suede coat, my mind went blank as Auriel turned towards our table without hesitation.

 "Shit," Kipp mumbled.  "Did you call him?  Did you know he was coming?"

"No," was all I had time to say before he was upon us.

 "Hello, Kipp," he said softly and then kissed me chastely.

He was subdued in a way I did not like.  The entire bistro watched us, some quite openly, others covertly.

 "Hello, Auriel," Kipp replied.  "You've been making yourself scarce lately."

"Business, my dear," he said and then turned guarded eyes upon Tonio.  "Introduce me to your friend, Ish."

"Tonio, this is Auriel."

Tonio moved his head only slightly in greeting.  His face was carefully blank, his eyes hard.  There was something passing between them that I could not catch and I  stared at Auriel, knowing he had shut me out.

He's not important to me like you are, I thought and tried to control the frantic edge to my message.  He's just a boy, Auriel.

 "Hello, Tonio," Auriel finally said.

A chair appeared, was manoeuvered next to mine.  Auriel's favorite beer was placed before him and the ever present brown cigarettes came out.  He presented one to Tonio.  I held my breath.  Tonio took the cigarette and gave Auriel a tight smile.

There was so much I wanted to say to Auriel, so much I wanted to hear from him.  None of it could be said here:  I was  desperate to be home with him, to have him to myself, in my thoughts, in my bed.

"Where did you meet Ish?" Auriel asked.

"We used to run into each other in our neighborhood bar," Tonio replied.  He blew smoke through his nostrils as he held Auriel's gaze.  "I haven't seen her there in awhile..."

Auriel smiled.  I didn't like the look of that smile.

"So you decided upon dinner to catch up?"

Could Auriel really be interested in the answer to this question?  Could he really suspect that I could even think of anyone else since the afternoon he took me?

Tonio laughed.  "No man.  It's not like  that.  Our meeting here was purely a coincidence.  I was suppose to meet some friends here but I think tonight's clientele," Tonio made a vague gesture with the hand that held the cigarette, "got them out of the mood to party."

I cringed.  Tonio played an extremely dangerous game.  I looked at Kipp.  She gave me an imperceptible shrug.  I should say something, I told myself forcefully, but my tongue was  frozen in my mouth.

"Oh?  And what about you, Tonio?"

"I've got no quarrel with you or your kind, Auriel."

"And if you had, you're much too smart to let me know," Auriel mused.

 When Auriel looked up, a waiter hurried over.

"Give Ish whatever chocolate dessert is going," Auriel said.  He glanced at Tonio, who shook his head and Kipp who just smiled.  "Make that two chocolate  whatevers.  Bring brandies for Tonio and me."

*Your boy is safe for now.*

I sat at the table of the Dark Rider this evening, preoccupied as I plotted protection for beautiful Tonio.  Just in case.
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